Tag Archives: search engines

H tags and Latent Semantic Indexing

Htags

cutesy H tags

Oh, P.L.E.A.S.E. Optimizing H tags? WTF?

Leave me alone. Who are these people hitting on my baby and telling me nobody will hear its cries for attention? Why are they leaving messages every day? Why have they got names like Dick Schone, Jimmie Limber, Bradly Stanphill and Dean Heldman but their comments are all identical? I mean, absolutely IDENTICAL. They’re not real people obviously. Real people don’t use EXACTLY the same words. They must be H tags. Real people don’t send tricksy little messages to get you to click on this or open that. They are the cold-callers of the internet and they either want to sell you something or bite you on the bum. I bet they have black eyes. You know, like the black-eyed children wind-up a while ago.

Midwich cuckoos

Midwich cuckoo children actually had golden eyes.

Somebody thought they were being clever using this photo as evidence of children having all black eyes. But, it’s a shot from a film based on John Wyndham’s novel The Midwich Cuckoos. See, I’m old enough to remember. I actually read that book.

Go teach your grandma to you-know-what. Leave this grandma alone. Stop bothering her with your offers of super-dooper sunglasses. What makes you think I’m interested in your hand-held magnifier? Gettoutamypub. I repeat. Leave me alone.

lsi

lsi building blocks

I’m learning at my own pace, thank you very much. I’m building my knowledge, but I don’t yet know how it all fits together. As with any kind of building, it seems to me you’ve got to have a solid foundation. I’m still at the foundation level.

HTML, Codex, Gobbledygook and English

Just when I thought I was doing okay. Just when I was happier about my smart, new website and feeling a certain amount of warmth toward WordPress, along comes unsolicited advice about SEO.

searchengines

searching the search engines

 

I know what it is. Now. I didn’t, oh, way back there in January when I began this blogging thing. Now I know what the letters stand for; I just haven’t got around to learning much about it yet. So, when comments arrive on my dashboard, I get that familiar sinking feeling telling me I’m still not doing this blogging lark properly. I have to get optimized. I have to learn about creepy-crawly spider things out there in the virtual web, just yearning to get their little pincers into my juicy, young website.

spidersearch

poor little spiderbot hard at work

In fact, this website is the only thing about me that’s juicy and fresh. Apart from my writing of course.