Wicked Stepmother had grown tired of GB’s complaints about meals. Always a picky eater, GB had grown even pickier, it seemed. Feelings came to a head when, one night during the long summer holidays, GB complained that the basil in the pesto sauce was overwhelming.

Now, I knew this wasn’t true. It may well have been a tad on the strong side for ordinary mortals but here, at our gaff, we go in for STRONG flavours. Even fussy GB likes STRONG curry and FIERY chilli. So, how come the relatively mild pesto had fallen foul of his lordship’s approval?

The fact of the matter was, I had used red basil, homegrown in a pot out the back, rather than all green basil with which he was more familiar.

The result was very colourful – a bit like the borders on this page. A mixed pesto sauce with some green leaf and some red plus my usual lashings of olive oil (extra virgin, of course), two chunky cloves of garlic crushed into the mix, ground pine nuts (hand charmed with my trusty pestle and mortar) and finished off with finely grated parmesan cheese and more olive oil if it’s got a bit too thick.

Wonderful.

Divine.

Eat it quickly and be first in the queue for seconds.

But, we got faces and a turned up nose.

What?

After I’ve spent months growing this tender little plant, taking care of its every need, watering and moving it from shade to sunshine and back into shade when it got too hot for its little feet in a clay pot?

After I’ve done all that hand-charming with the mortar and grating with the grater? Okay, so I’m laying it on with a trowel. Still.

There’s only one answer to that, you apprentice cuckoo you.

The 5 Day Plan

in One Act – WS =Wicked Stepmother. BP=Biological Parent. GB= Gollum Boy, the teenage online gamer.

At the table, Gollum Boy has just used the overwhelming word.

WS: How would you like to choose meals for five days, GB?

BP: Is that wise, Wicked Stepmother? He’ll choose all his favourites.

WS: I know.

GB: Where are you going, Wicked Stepmother?

WS: For a piece of paper so you can write down your choices.

GB: I don’t need a piece of paper. I’ll remember.

WS: Trust me. You will.

She fetches paper and pen. GB scribbles his meal choices.

WS: (reading aloud) Let’s see. Ah, no surprises here, then.

1. Chilli 2. Pizza 3. Barbecue chops 4. Spag Bol 5. Sausage/burger and chips.

BP: I did warn you, Wicked Stepmother. It was pretty obvious there would be no vegetables.

WS: I know. When would you like to begin the 5 day menus, Gollum Boy?

GB: Tomorrow.

WS: Okay. Where are you going, GB?

GB: To my room.

WS: But we haven’t finished here.

GB: What do you mean?

WS: Turn the paper over. Now you’ve got to write your shopping list.

GB: What shopping list?

WS: The one for the ingredients of these five meals.

GB: What?

WS: The one for the ingredients of these five meals.

GB: I heard you the first time.

WS: Good. Better get started. Or you’ll have nothing to cook. Dad will help you, won’t you BP?

Wicked Stepmother makes for the door. There is the sound of grumbling. She turns to have the last word.

WS: I’m looking forward to 5 days off kitchen duties. Thank you soooo much boys.

 (To be continued)