What does a psychopath look like?
Psychopaths aren’t all like Hannibal Lecter. They’re not all criminals. They can look normal. But outward appearances are deceptive and they are masters of deceit. You’d never know just to look at them that their brains are different from mine and yours.
In a previous post I wrote about how their brains are wired differently.
The area of the brain affected is where emotions come from. This lack of connections means they are unable to deeply feel the emotions which can render the rest of us helpless: grief, shame, guilt, love, and, above all, empathy for others.
Psychopaths hide their true nature
Like the wolf in Red Riding Hood (Is your life a fairy tale?) the psychopath hides his/her true intentions. They have to do this in order to attract you to them. They know if you were aware they were only after your body, your money, your skills, your standing in society etc. you would never entertain them.
In order to attract you they pretend to be your perfect partner by copying you. They encourage you to talk about yourself and your likes and preferences so that they can fake being interested in the same things. Their ways of faking who they really are involve a multifaceted system of making you believe they truly care about you.
But they make mistakes. There are signs that give them away. They let the cat out of the bag without realising. While you may be familiar with the more obvious traits of psychopathy and the patterns of behaviour they employ to control and manipulate you, these ‘tells’ are involuntary clues to what’s really going on.
Psychopaths’ tells
Speech and Language
The way they talk and the language they use is often a sign that all may not be as you think.
Often they speak quietly and slowly. I’ve seen suggestions that this is to establish control by making you wait and listen hard. They may also pause mid- speech. They look as though they are deeply considering the topic when, in fact, they are calculating what’s the best thing to say next in order to protect their false persona.
Caught off guard, their choice of language can sound stilted, not quite on point, as if they were repeating speeches they’d heard in a film. They use inappropriate clichés or phrases and sayings they’ve heard somebody else use but they seem to be unaware that the particular phrase they’ve used is not transferable to a different situation.
Humour
They exhibit a juvenile sense of humour as if they never grew out of schoolboy jokes. Pranks amuse them. They enjoy setting somebody else up to be the brunt of their ‘jokes’. However, they can’t stand to be the target of anybody else’s pranks.
Other people’s misfortunes are highly entertaining. They like to sit back and congratulate themselves for not being so stupid as those in need.
Unnatural emotional responses
Because they lack empathy for others they don’t know how to react to emotionally upsetting or stimulating situations. They copy what they’ve seen others doing in similar circumstances but may go over the top with their fake ‘grief’ or pretend ‘happiness’. They don’t truly feel it so they don’t know how much of a show of grief/joy to express.
Conversely when you’d expect an outpouring of emotion they can be completely cold and unmoved.
Presence of mind
Because they are always in self-preservation mode you can usually rely on them to act calmly in an emergency. They don’t panic because they’re not afraid. They can think rationally and focus on practicalities: they have the presence of mind to do this.
However, their theory of mind is undeveloped. They cannot see things from another person’s point of view nor do they connect their actions with consequences. They cannot allow that another’s expectations might be different from their own.
Exclamatory denials/admissions
Billy Bunter is a character from children’s comic books. He was greedy and often stole other boys’ food parcels. In one scene, when approached by an angry-looking boy, Billy blurts out, “It wasn’t me who took your Swiss Roll (cake)”
This ‘blurting’ out before the other person has spoken is something psychopaths do when they feel cornered. Sometimes they blurt a denial which actually gives them away as in the Billy Bunter example.
Because they have no theory of mind and don’t pick up on others’ body language or facial expressions they can’t tell how you are feeling. For example, if you were nursing a stomach ache they might interpret your expression as having something to do with what’s in their own thinking and blurt “I haven’t been with another woman!”
These ‘out of the blue’ exclamations are clues to what is really going on behind your back.
Sense of smell
There’s usually something different about their sense of smell. Either they lack it completely or they can’t distinguish between familiar everyday aromas such as coffee and oranges. Again, this is due to non-existent/poor connectivity within that part of the brain governing olfaction rather than a medical condition such as nasal polyps or diabetes. Also, they are unable to distinguish between a pleasant aroma and a nasty stink.
Startle response
Normal people can be startled by sudden loud noises or movements or terrifying sights. We have bodily reactions. We may feel as though our hearts have skipped a beat or our feet might actually leave the ground when we ‘jump out of our skin’. Our pulse quickens, our eyes widen. We may throw out our arms then curl into a ball at a sudden and severe shock to the system.
Psychopaths do none of these things. They are not in the least perturbed by a vehicle backfiring that sounds like a gunshot and you can’t creep up behind them to make them jump.
Contagious yawning
Psychopaths don’t ‘catch’ yawns like the rest of us. This is a well-documented phenomenon based on several studies into the psychopathic brain.
Disclaimer: this post is the result of my research and personal observations. It is not intended as a diagnosis. As an author of fiction it’s fascinating for me to look deep into my characters’ personalities and discover these tell-tale signs.
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Till next time . . .
