Inspirations, Writing

Creative Writing Courses

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In principal, I am opposed to courses.I don’t see the point of aiming to turn out clones of the This is Best School of Literature. What good would that do? You’d have shelves of books in the bookstores and titles of ebooks all in the same mold. Boring, or what?

On my Home Page, I’ve already said how variety is the spice of my life. I grow jaded with repetitive activities such as dragging out the vacuum cleaner and planning meals. Odd, isn’t it, that sitting at the keyboard doesn’t have the same effect?

But, I digress. Creative writing courses. I went on one once. It came at a time when I needed a break from domestic dolour and an injection of uplifting motivation. I’d had my share of rejections and was looking for other avenues to explore.

snoopy1
Snoopy the hack

I found the book doctor. The course, held in the Dordogne, which happened to be a convenient train ride for me, was a combination of motivation and relaxation. The setting was peaceful and nurturing. Our hosts were kindly and nurturing. Their food was delicious and nurturing. Above all, Philippa Pride was friendly and, you guessed it, nurturing.

I wouldn’t say I came away with startling new perspectives about the complicated world of publishing. After all, I wasn’t an absolute beginner: I knew something about what I was attempting to get myself into.

It was such a delight to meet with people who had similar ambitions, who were supportive of each other, who had no ulterior motives. Needless to say, I loved this course and returned home feeling refreshed, ready to get back to work and thoroughly nurtured. Philippa provided a perfect combination of workshop/retreat. Here’s a link to her website:

http://www.thebookdoctor.co.uk

Happy writing!

Micklefield

Following the Micklefield Route

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I emailed somebody in the education department, but never had a reply. This morning, I’ve emailed a contact at a media group with my question about the Micklefield route and the use of the Micklefield name in the Cape Town area.

There are also many references to the name Cecilia. There MUST have been a Cecilia Micklefield in Cape Town’s history. It’s fascinating. I’m looking forward to discovering more.

ceciliaplantation
More Micklefield connections?
Inspirations, Writing

What if?

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Sometimes, as soon as I wake, and I’m talking the very second, there’s a question clamouring for an answer. It’s there, in my head and I don’t know where it came from, but it’s pushed itself forward demanding attention. There’s nothing else for it but to do something about it.

This morning the question was about two halfpennies rubbing together. You know the saying, I haven’t got two halfpennies to rub together. What if you had? What if you had those two halfpennies and you rubbed them. What would happen? This What if? question is huge. I read somewhere it’s often the question Stephen King starts out with. So, I looked up the derivation of the saying re: rubbing two halfpennies together and I learned something about myself: I have a tendency to take things too literally.

whatif1
what if the answer’s in the clouds?

I’m not too hot, it turns out, at this blue sky thinking. See, when I think of rubbing two halfpennies together, I immediately imagine there has to be an element of manual manipulation in there somewhere. You have to grab hold of those damned halfpennies, don’t you. and physically rub them together? Actually, no you don’t. They might rub together all by themselves, jangling in your pocket as you walk along the street, thereby demonstrating to the world around you that you are a person of means.Listen everybody, those jingling coins say to your neighbours. I have the wherewithal to buy whatever one may purchase for ready cash. Of course, the neighbours wouldn’t know whether those were coppers rubbing along in your pocket, or guineas.

whatifit'sme
what if it’s me?

And so, the whole phrase can mean so much more than I had thought. Now, there are images in my head; there are sounds; there are values and attitudes creeping into the old saying that I’d never considered before.

Hmmmm. More food for thought.

                                           
Writing

Spring just around the corner? Writers are vulnerable to cold blasts

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Spring arrives early here. That is to say, it lets you think it’s arriving early. But, it’s tricksy. Oh, yes. It’s tricksy.

spring flowering bulbs
can spring be very far away?

It likes to see buds forming on the irises, and then, just when they’re getting ready to open up, SURPRISE, here comes a late blast of icy cold mountain air. The poor things shrivel and hang their heads.

Writers are like those irises, vulnerable to cold blasts of discouragement and thinly-veiled put downs. Self-doubt, unlike spring, is never very far away.

Wrap up warm. Keep on your comfy, confidence cardie. Smile. Doubt hates smilers; he doesn’t know what to do with them and usually takes his leave. Take a break from your usual routine. Do something physical. Physical activity guards against writers’ arse and I do believe there’s a lot to be said for the old chestnut – blowing away the cobwebs.

Take a good look at the people you mix with. How do they make you feel? Do they drain you, or do they make you feel uplifted?

changethepeople
you have to be brave
Blogging

Spam, Spam, Spam and Spear Phishing

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spamThis is what I remember. This is what you kept in the larder for emergency suppers. My mother did anyway. Ghastly, bright pink stuff you could eat straight from the tin or fry it and pretend it was something else.

Then, Python got hold of it and made it a sketch and a song and then a musical show.

pythonspam

 

Now, Spam is the stuff that arrives on your dashboard every day.

Experts say it generates a response rate of just 0.00001 per cent – but is still hugely profitable. Spammers used to take hefty commissions from sales with huge margins–generic or fake pharmaceuticals, pirated software, etc.

Web-based spam, using shady SEO methods and browser-hijacking trojans, offers an attractive alternative to new or small partners. For one, it takes almost no investment. Web hosting is extremely cheap, the e-commerce systems used in affiliate programs are free and easy to copy to a new site, and fewer measures need to be taken to avoid prosecution under anti-spam laws, which were written first and foremost to combat email spam.

So, Spam is here to stay as long as somebody is making money from it. However, the patterns of Spam seem to be changing. Whereas once it was blanket-bombing, the future indicates more targeted spamming. According to Anthony M. Freed of Security Bistro, Spam levels are down, but targeted attacks are up. Here’s what he says at http://www.securitybistro.com

Posted on January 15, 2013 by Anthony M. Freed

‘Less spam in your inbox: Good news. More spam geared towards targeted attacks: Not so good… In the wake of multiple large-scale botnet take-downs in 2011 and 2012, the over all volume of general spam traffic decreased significantly (53%), but targeted attacks via email are on the uptick according to researchers from German e-mail security provider Eleven. The percentage of spam messages that contained malicious agents such as malware-laden attachments, links to websites that facilitate drive-by attacks, and targeted phishing operations all showed a measurable increase over previous years, and the trend towards more focused attacks is expected to continue through 2013.’

Blimey. I’ve been targeted. Is that why they’re offering me hand-held magnifiers and gadgets for checking my blood pressure. Is there actually a spy-bot out there spear-phishing for grandmas?

nospamPiss off!

Mick

Displacement Activities can easily fill your time

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Himself is a master. Black belt, hard core procrastinator. Himself can look at a job that needs doing and pick up the phone to speak to his brother instead. Then they talk for at least half an hour about the job that needs doing.

thiefofdreams
don’t rob yourself

To be fair, herself is probably almost a brown belt. But, you see, it all depends on the job it is that needs doing. Ironing or go for a swim? No contest. Clean the toilet or sit outside with a clinky drink? Are you kidding? Writing or anything you might care to name? Writing, writing, writing.

If I’m not writing, I’m thinking about it. There’s not much that I will allow to get in the way of my writing. Selfish? Absolutely. Nobody’s starving around here. Everybody eventually has ironed clothes to wear. I’ve done my years of earning a living doing things I had to do to meet the targets, to keep the funding, to satisfy the consumers etc. etc.

Thing is, see, the minute I move away from the keyboard to prepare that lunch or slice those vegetables, guess who jumps in the chair the second it becomes vacant? Himself, of course. He’s Facebooking or he’s looking up properties for sale or comparing prices on remote-controlled horizontal deadbolts. (I made that last one up)

I have to hang onto my seat. Literally. Even if it means I’m developing writer’s arse. To himself, my keyboard is a displacement activity, whereas, to a writer like me, well, you know the rest.

Writing

What is the theme of your book?

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You have to know. You have to be able to say, very succinctly, what your novel is about. What it ultimately IS. In one sentence. Go on. Say it. If you can’t, there’s a good chance you don’t really know what your purpose is for this book.

threerulesfowriting
just three rules would be easy . . .

A funny little quote from W. Somerset Maugham is all well and good and lightens the mood in an old-fashioned, quaint sort of way, does it not, Madam? Sir?

But we ain’t writing old-fashioned, quaint sorts of books, are we? Unless we’re Alexander McCall Smith and he’s a master so there’s no point in trying to emulate his style.

We have to have thrust. We have to have a clear picture of where we’re going right at the very beginning of this book, and we have to keep watching the SatNav all along the way to prevent from wandering from our ultimate purpose.That’s why we need one clear sentence that says what this book IS. That’s why we have to keep that one clear sentence lodged in our thinking as the plot progresses.

Writing

Loving the writing

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flyingpants
pantsing doesn’t always get you where you want to go

I looked at my tag cloud.  What? The blogging word was getting too big. It was almost as big as the writing word. See what happens when you’re not looking? When you’re pantsing instead of planning. For initiates pantsing is flying by the seat of them. Get it?

Pantsing is great for that piece of morning writing when your head needs clearing and you just write down the first thing you think of. Afterwards, you can have a look at what you wrote and decide whether any of it’s worth keeping. Mostly, it isn’t. So you have to plan what you’re going to write.

lovereading
in love with reading
lovewriting
in love with writing

Did I mention before that as well as short stories, I write novels? And, as it’s Valentine Day, I’m taking this opportunity to dedicate myself to them: my novels. I am in love with all of them. I shall be in love with the next when it arrives. My love for them has no bounds. Like with your children, your love grows: you don’t steal from one to give to another. You love them all.

Blogging

H tags and Latent Semantic Indexing

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Htags
cutesy H tags

Oh, P.L.E.A.S.E. Optimizing H tags? WTF?

Leave me alone. Who are these people hitting on my baby and telling me nobody will hear its cries for attention? Why are they leaving messages every day? Why have they got names like Dick Schone, Jimmie Limber, Bradly Stanphill and Dean Heldman but their comments are all identical? I mean, absolutely IDENTICAL. They’re not real people obviously. Real people don’t use EXACTLY the same words. They must be H tags. Real people don’t send tricksy little messages to get you to click on this or open that. They are the cold-callers of the internet and they either want to sell you something or bite you on the bum. I bet they have black eyes. You know, like the black-eyed children wind-up a while ago.

Midwich cuckoos
Midwich cuckoo children actually had golden eyes.

Somebody thought they were being clever using this photo as evidence of children having all black eyes. But, it’s a shot from a film based on John Wyndham’s novel The Midwich Cuckoos. See, I’m old enough to remember. I actually read that book.

Go teach your grandma to you-know-what. Leave this grandma alone. Stop bothering her with your offers of super-dooper sunglasses. What makes you think I’m interested in your hand-held magnifier? Gettoutamypub. I repeat. Leave me alone.

lsi
lsi building blocks

I’m learning at my own pace, thank you very much. I’m building my knowledge, but I don’t yet know how it all fits together. As with any kind of building, it seems to me you’ve got to have a solid foundation. I’m still at the foundation level.

Blogging

HTML, Codex, Gobbledygook and English

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Just when I thought I was doing okay. Just when I was happier about my smart, new website and feeling a certain amount of warmth toward WordPress, along comes unsolicited advice about SEO.

searchengines
searching the search engines

 

I know what it is. Now. I didn’t, oh, way back there in January when I began this blogging thing. Now I know what the letters stand for; I just haven’t got around to learning much about it yet. So, when comments arrive on my dashboard, I get that familiar sinking feeling telling me I’m still not doing this blogging lark properly. I have to get optimized. I have to learn about creepy-crawly spider things out there in the virtual web, just yearning to get their little pincers into my juicy, young website.

spidersearch
poor little spiderbot hard at work

In fact, this website is the only thing about me that’s juicy and fresh. Apart from my writing of course.

write from the heart