The Wicked Stepmother and school holidays. 10 WEEKS!

WS=Wicked Stepmother   GB=Gollum Boy, the online gamer  BP=Biological Parent

School holidays have begun. The only students attending collège this week are doing final year oral exams in preparation for lycée next September.

wicked stepmother picnic place
rock formations at Moureze

GB has one more year in collège. He handed in all his text books on Tuesday. He said it was painful. Wicked Stepmother thought he meant he was heartbroken to see them for the last time. (Joke)

No, he said, it was painful because they were so heavy.

On Wednesday he floated off, sans text books, for  the morning bus and probably floated back at midday to make his own bacon sandwich for lunch. We weren’t at home to witness. Himself and I were entertaining visitors and actually having a rather nice picnic in the hills above Clermont Hérault with a large ready-roasted pintade from the market, tomatoes, cheese and crusty bread. GB would not eat this fare and, anyway, picnics are for boring old farts.

pintade for wicked stepmother lunch
pintade is a guinea fowl

When we arrived home, the kitchen bore the evidence of GB’s culinary efforts, complete with tomato sauce-streaked plate left where he’d finished with it. GB was where we expected him to be: glued to the X-Box, the 10 week holiday grin already secure upon his face. (We noticed it when he came down to see if we’d brought back any chocolate biscuits.)

His final day at collège this semester was Thursday last. The grin grew even wider.

‘What are you going to do with all this time off?’ said BP.

‘Hmmph!’ GB replied.

Nothing more was said at the time.

On Friday, GB spent all day gaming.

gameaddict

 

On Saturday, GB spent all day gaming.

gaming addict
did you know such organisations exist?

On Sunday, there was a sea change.

Oh, yes.

Wicked Stepmother had nothing to do with it and remained, her own thin grin firmly in place, out of sight.

Biological Parent put the question again.

‘What are you going to do with all this time off?’

No answer. Not even a humph.

‘If you can’t come up with ideas of your own, GB, I’ll think of some for you.’

No answer.

‘I’d like you to come down at three this afternoon and help me in the garden.’

Three o’ clock came and went.

deadline
three o’ clock deadline

BP went to the garage. He walked over to the electricity control box.

power control
power control switches

Our power controls are different in France from what we were used to in the UK. We don’t have ring circuits here. Each room can be isolated by the switches on the main control box.

At 3:15pm last Sunday afternoon, two rooms were blacked out.

At 3:15pm last Sunday afternoon, the plug was literally (almost) pulled on activities at the top of the house.

At 3:15pm last Sunday afternoon, there was no X-Box, no YouTube live streamed games/tutorials from Syndicate the #1 UK gamer. The lights were out. The sockets were dead.

BP waited in the garden where GB’s old bike awaited cleaning and maintenance before we sell it.

Power was not restored until 6pm. So, GB still had minimum 8 hours game playing from when he got up to lights out. I think it’s way too much.

Wicked Stepmother plans to show this post to BP, especially the picture about 10,000 hours spent by the age of twenty-one. Isn’t that such a waste of a young life?

What do you think?

Fire jumping on the summer solstice feast of St John. How Languedoc celebrates.

solstice
the sun and moon in a solstice embrace

On the eve of the feast of St John the Baptist, many villages here in Languedoc, celebrate with some kind of fire jumping party. The date, rather conveniently some might suggest, coincides with Pagan midsummer rituals when bonfires were lit to ward off evil spirits. Summer solstice was a magical time of year for the ancient peoples.

Today, children enjoy the festivities put on especially for them. Last night our village laid on a disco party with snow machine. The kids were thoroughly soaked before the bonfires were lit – a good idea for those planning to jump the fire later.

St John's eve snow and fire jumping party
disco with snow machine

Snow machines turn up at most of our outdoor summer parties. On the evenings of Soiree Mousse, you wear your old clothes!

snow before the fire jumping
getting clothes wet before jumping the fires

Volunteer firefighters are in charge of the bonfires. Our village has its own firefighting equipment, all manned by residents – a schoolteacher, business people etc. Cadets are welcome and many village children learn the ropes when they are quite young before becoming volunteer firefighters themselves.

The firemen prepare the bonfires using grubbed up vines. The smaller pile is for the youngest children.

vines for firejumping
old vines make good bonfires

If any of the children don’t look wet enough to go fire jumping, they must douse themselves with water from the firefighters’ bucket!

firejumping preparation
getting thoroughly wet

The fires are lit. The kids are getting excited. There’s a lot of shouting encouragement. Health and Safety? Risk assessments?

 

Why would you want to spoil the fun with rules and regulations? Nobody ever gets hurt. There are so many responsible adults on hand to see that doesn’t happen. Watch the short clips I took last night to see the fun. Here and here.

Is this too dangerous? Should this tradition be stopped? Would you let your children brave the fire jump? What do you think?

Thank you for visiting my website. Please feel free to leave a comment. I love to hear what you think.

Wednesday Languedoc Vine Watch Report June 19th

Languedoc vines at dawn
early dawn in the vineyards

Just a short vine report this week. We have visitors from England, one of whom arrived last Saturday unwell. Making doctor’s appointments on the phone taxes my French, especially when they reply in rapid fire. I’m still working out the last few words while they’re rushing through the next three sentences.

French healthcare is among the best in Europe, in my opinion, and here in this part of southern France, we have access to some of the most up-to-date technology in healthcare. Montpellier is at the cutting edge of medical research, its teaching hospitals and research laboratories among the finest in the world. I’m sure my friend will soon feel much better.

What’s happening in the vines this week.

The growers are still spraying some varieties, notably the Syrah (Shiraz). The whites, and in particular, the Chardonnay are set now. We want them to grow fat and fill up with lusciousness.

Merlot vines
Merlot growing well
Chardonnay vines
lusty Chardonnay vines

We’ve had high humidity (75-80 %) for the last few days and again, this isn’t what we’ve come to expect at this time of year. Growers will be vigilant in their fight against powdery mildew, especially with regard to young plants in new vineyards whose leaves are more susceptible.

In our garden, we have our own plants to tend.

tomato vine
cocktail tomatoes on their vine

These cocktail tomatoes always do well here. We don’t have to restrict their height. They just keep on growing and producing.

courgettes
courgettes in flower

Courgettes also do well. These are the round variety with fruits the shape of miniature pumpkins. The flowers are a vivid yellow, a colour said to be most attractive to many garden insects.

 

Himself and I love chillies. We always grow our own. Here’s some of this year’s crop .

Still bright green, these chillies will begin to look black before they take on their hot red coats. You need a strong red to drink with spicy food. Lucky for us, we know just where to find a selection of those!

So, cheers for now! Don’t forget to subscribe at FOLLOW CELIA so you don’t miss new posts.

chilli peppers
chilli peppers

THank you for visiting my website. Please feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Celia

Waiting for Gary. Second attempt.

Friday June 14th.

Time: 10pm.

Conditions: warm. A good night for waiting for Gary.

We’d been to The Shack for mussels and chips. We love that place. Salubrious, it isn’t. Situated right next to a main road and a filling station, it hasn’t got the best of views. What it’s got is atmosphere – maybe it’s because I’m such a truck lover I like places that look like truck stops. Anyway, food’s good and hot and there’s plenty of it.

Mussels
good food for Gary watching

Himself and I had a litre of vino collapso between us and wended our way home. It wasn’t properly dark. June days are long and neither of us wanted to be indoors, so we decided on a spot of Gary watching.

You can’t wait for Gary without the special equipment. So, out came the special equipment.

Gary watching equipment
special Gary watching equipment

After a few sips of the special equipment, Writer in Languedoc thought it would be a good idea to make a little video clip. No sooner had I stopped filming, but, you guessed it! The little bugger shot across the wall behind me and hid behind the French window shutter. You can view the video clip here.

Now I know you can’t compare my efforts with those wonderful wild life programmes we see on television. You know the ones I mean, where people talk in hushed voices while they’re waiting for the wolf, or the bear or the yeti. But when the very creature you’ve been waiting for shows up the second you put the camera down, the frustration of Gary watching must come close to waiting for a . . .  rhinoceros or a lesser spotted alien.

Himself went indoors. I stayed put.

11pm. It’s dark. There’s a chattering noise from behind the shutter. A dark shadow of movement. Stealthy hands pick up the camera. Shush. Don’t breathe. When he moves, it’ll be fast.

There he goes!

Gary
Gary the Gecko caught on camera

Gotcha! Not quite all of you, Gary. You move so fast.

So photographic ambitions mount. I shan’t settle till I get a good photo of Gary hanging around in the lamp light, catching moths and chomping them.

Wednesday Vine Watch Report #11 June 12th

The main topic of conversation this week is the WEATHER. The vines’ development is delayed. We’re expecting a much later harvest this year. Some varieties, such as the Syrah (Shiraz) have yet to flower, such is the delay because of unusual cooler conditions.

vine spraying machinery
the vines are still being sprayed with copper sulphate

Vines still need to be sprayed until the grapes have set. Wine growers in the hills forecast a vendange three to four weeks later than usual.

Here where we are, nearer the coast, we’ve also had cold winds, colder night time temperatures and rain like you wouldn’t believe.

Visitors find it hard to believe we get rainstorms like on this video. It pours from the roof and makes a river running out under the gate.

Here’s what also happens during storms. We lose our satellite television. Right in the middle of the French Open final!

No signal
during the French Open final!!! Aaaargh!
vines in the morning
a morning chorus of Merlot!

 

Himself and I have continued our daily walks. And I’m still adding to my collection of photos in and around the vineyards.

Here are some pictures featuring grey skies, just so’s you can see we do get them sometimes!

 

vines in the mist
misty vines

 

 

 

Merlot vines
cheeky spider on the Merlot!

Fortunately, when we do get bad weather, it doesn’t last too long. We know the sun will soon be showing its face again.

Here’s the latest close-ups on our Mademoiselle. I didn’t know the spider was there till I uploaded the photo.

Chardonnay vine
Chardonnay June 12th

After the rainstorm, the temperature rocketed. Yesterday, we notched up 31 degrees in the same place where the rain was bouncing off the floor a few days ago.

flags in the breeze
flags in the breeze

There’s hardly a cloud in the sky. We think the summer has finally begun.

And to prove it, here’s this morning’s sunrise. Follow the line of the sun to see what she’s lighting up – our Merlot!

It must be an omen.

 

sunrise on our vine
sunrise on our Merlot

Cheers!

Don’t forget to subscribe at FOLLOW CELIA so you don’t miss new posts.

Coming soon on Wednesday Languedoc Vinewatch – an interview with a Master of Wine who now grows her own.

I’m on iCloud 9. Lovin’ my Mac. Am I an iAngel now?

loveclouds
Lovin’ the cloud

Writer in Languedoc has got herself on the iCloud with a shining, brand new Apple ID and email address. Does that make her an iAngel? No, iAngel is the Trade name of a certain body sling for carrying babies. Weird, that.

iangel

Never mind, Writer in Languedoc will be able to access her documents from anywhere in the world on her iPhone or iPad. She’ll be able to edit her drafts from far flung corners of the planet. All her Apple products will be talking to each other to share what they know and make it available, anywhere, any place, any time. Oh, that phrase has already been used too. Anybody remember Martini? I’m showing my age now.

Martini by iCloud?
any time, any place, anywhere

But anyway, back to the magic of Apple and the amazing iCloud. What else will I be able to do with it? I’ll be able to take pictures on my iPhone, for example and they’ll be automatically sent to my computer and iPad.

This would be a very useful feature for writer in Languedoc’s weekly Vinewatch reports. Images would be ready to incorporate into text without having to upload them manually.

So, now I’ve a new logo in my repertoire. A shiny, new button to press. Oh, I’m leaving my old self behind now that I’m bang up to date with my sparkling new iMac.

iCloudlogo
my new button

Wow, Grandma! What next?

Best get yourself an iPhone and an iPad then, so you can use all these extra gizmos.

Here’s a cunning plan. First, sell more short stories to pay for the new gizmos.

No, first, WRITE more stories for selling. It’s all well and good having followers on your blog and on Twitter et al, but all these new gadgets are going to cost. Right?

Okay, then. Open up Pages. Start writing. What, no Word for Mac on this shiny new iMac?

No Madam, that doesn’t come as part of the package. However, Pages can do everything you will require. Uh-oh! There’s another big learning curve ahead.

Thank goodness for people like Alexander Anichkin. What he can’t do in Pages isn’t worth knowing. Follow the link to visit his blog. Be careful, you could spend hours on there marvelling at the man and never get anything done at all.

Oh, so much to learn, so much to learn . . .

icloudcontrol
iCloud at the centre of my new world

A One Act play by the Wicked Stepmother.

Cold Pasta

Dramatis Personnae

WS = Wicked Stepmother, BP= Biological Parent, GB= Gollum Boy alias teenage online gamer.

 

Scene 1: The kitchen. Midday, Wednesday.  GB is due to return home at 12.30. Shopping bags litter the counter tops and table. Wicked Stepmother is putting away market produce. Biological parent is getting in the way.

BP: ( stuffing into his mouth the piece of cheese he has just snapped off the new block ) Have you thought yet about what’s for lunch?

WS: Leftover Bolognese sauce. I’ll do some fresh pasta to go with it.

BP: Will there be enough, Wicked Stepmother?

WS: There’s enough for two.

BP: What will you have?

WS: (reaching under the kitchen table to retrieve tomatoes that have rolled there) Something else.

BP: Shall we have a drink first?

WS: (from under the table) Good idea.

BP: I’ll have a coffee, please. (exits)

images

 

Scene 2:

The kitchen. There are still bags of shopping to put away. WS has retrieved tomatoes and is now making coffee. GB arrives from half-day school classes.

WS: Hello, Gollum Boy.

GB: Hmmmph.

WS: Everything okay?

GB: Hmmmph. (exits)

WS finishes putting away the shopping and makes coffee. She is adding milk when GB  suddenly reappears in doorway.

GB: Dad says I’m having pasta for lunch. Will there be some kind of sauce to go with that?

He scans the empty hob for proof.

wicked stepmother cooking

WS: Yes!

GB: What time will it be ready?

(It is 12:40)

WS: You know what? It’ll be ready at exactly 1pm. (GB exits again) Biological Parent! Oh, Biological Parent! Are you there? Your coffee’s ready.

 

Scene 3:

The kitchen. 1pm. Lunch for the boys is ready. WS gets out dishes and begins to make herself a sandwich. BP makes for the door.

WS: Where are you going, Biological Parent?

BP: To tell GB his lunch is ready.

WS: He already knows. He asked me for a time and I gave him one. I told him it would be at exactly 1pm.

(Close-up on WS’s face. Her mouth is a thin line)

BP: Then we will put out his lunch, Wicked Stepmother and he’d better get his ass down here.

lunch prepared by Wicked Stepmother
GB’s lunch going cold

(They eat)

BP: Actions and consequences, Wicked Stepmother. Actions and consequences.

(They clear the dishes and make another drink. Still no sign of GB. Noises off are obvious gaming sounds with GB calling out to team members to Look out! Wait! Let him have it!)

Wicked Stepmother's clock
pasta will be cold by now

(Close up of clock face)

Scene 4:

Kitchen. WS and BP are nowhere to be seen. It is 2:15pm. GB arrives. There is a dish under a net cover on the table. GB stares at it as if he doesn’t know what to do with it.

GB: Dad! Dad!!

BP enters kitchen. He is carrying a gardening fork. He appears not to have heard GB calling him.

GB: Dad!

BP: What?

GB: Why didn’t you call me to let me know when lunch was ready?

BP: Were you told it would be ready at 1pm?

GB: Hmmmph.

BP: So why didn’t you come at 1pm?

GB: I thought somebody would call me.

BP: Oh. (He begins to walk away)

GB: Well, if I’d known this was going to happen, I would have come down.

BP: Ah.

GB: So why didn’t somebody call me? 

BP: We’re not going to call you any more, Gollum Boy. Not when you’ve already been given a time.

GB: Why not?

BP: It’s your responsibility to get yourself ready to come and eat with us. You could help, couldn’t you by laying the table or stacking the dishwasher? Remember those small chores we asked you to do? You’ve been avoiding them, haven’t you?

GB: Hmmmph.

BP: If your lunch is too cold to eat, you can reheat it in a pan. Wash up after yourself, please. We’ve already tidied the kitchen. (He exits)

Gollum Boy sits to eat. He tastes. He stands and for a moment it looks as if he’s going to make the effort to reheat the food. Then he sits down again, gobbles the food quickly and gets up to leave.

BP: ( from outside) Don’t leave that dirty dish for somebody else to clear!

GB rinses dish under tap. He looks around. He doesn’t know where to put it next. He leaves it on the draining board and exits.

In the garden, BP is happily planting tomatoes. In the bedroom WS looks in the mirror.

wicked stepmother witch

 

 

Wednesday Vine Report #10 Languedoc Vinewatch June 5th. Mademoiselle Merlot looking lush.

Walking through the vineyards has been a real pleasure this week. It’s always a pleasure, but this week, the wind has warmed. I’ve been out walking without a long sleeve fleece or sweater. Carrying a bottle of water instead!

Mademoiselle Merlot is looking fantastic. Soon, we’ll have to leave the house earlier to complete our walk, before it grows too hot.

Merlot vine
at last the Languedoc sunshine is feeling warmer

The growers have clipped off the extraneous growth from the tops and bottoms of the vines. There has been some wind damage and I’ve noticed a yellowing of the leaves on some varieties. They tell me this is because of the prolonged wet weather. Perhaps this is also the reason we’ve got similar yellowing on some of our garden plants at home. Himself is investigating.

We’ve walked further and further in our quest to bring you more interesting sights . . . and sounds.

First, the sights.

vineyard track
where does this track lead?

A new adventure awaits in the trees. Another vista. Another photo opportunity? Cut through the gap in the trees, drop into a small valley, climb the other side and hey presto! You’re back in the south of France.

vineyard huts
shelters in the vineyards

We’ve seen growers out with their notepads, drawing up forecasts. Maybe the harvest is going to be late this year.

Further along one of our walks this week, we came across this:

Roses in the vines
sacrificial roses
garrigue heath land
wild flowers in the garrigue

Roses act as an early warning system for pests and diseases. We often see bushes like this planted at the ends of rows of vines. Here’s something else we often see. Hares are everywhere, especially as you climb toward the garrigue – the heathland above the vineyards. It’s virgin land in the garrigue and, after this cool spring, it’s full of colour from great swathes of wild flowers.

hare in the vines
the one that got away . . .

Drop into the hidden valleys where the tree canopy forms a roof above your head and the atmosphere changes. It’s warm and still, but over head there’s birdsong you wouldn’t hear closer to the village.

Here’s a link to the sounds of the vineyards. Red kites are circling overhead, but these little songsters are well-hidden and singing their hearts out. Lovely!

Climb higher and there are more surprises. In a clearing, look who we found.

Camargue mare and foal
white Camargue horses

Camargue foals are dark. They don’t develop their famous colour until they’re four or five years old. This beautiful mare came to say hello and her baby followed.

Camargue mare
mother . . .

What a wonderful place to grow up! Maybe one day this little chap will be the star attraction at one of the many riding schools we have hereabouts.

Camargue foal
and baby

We have three equestrian centres close to our village. Even in the heat of the summer, there’s plenty of business for them.

It remains to be seen whether we shall have a late vendange this year.

I mentioned wild flowers. Just look at these.

grasshopper
if he’d jumped . . .aarrrrgh!

Flowers and insects everywhere. I haven’t photographed the vetches and campions of my childhood days when I kept a wild flower book during my primary schooldays. There are huge drifts of flowers here that I don’t recognise. Great swathes of pink, purple and blue, almost as far as you can see.                                                                 Black honey bees are gigantic. We call them Wellington Bombers. They look so heavy I don’t know how they can get airborne. They can be quite aggressive too – best not get agitated – let them go about their business.                                            After our long walk, it’s back home for a hearty breakfast.

DSCN0544

DSCN0545

black bee
DSCN0526See you next week for the next Vinewatch report.

Wednesday Vine Report May 29th 2013

Himself and I have been walking further through the vines. HImself has been cycling of late as previously reported and has discovered new tracks to explore. Well, motion is lotion, as they say so we have been striding out, camera at the ready to report what we find.

We found Monsieur Joseph. Here he is in his vineyards at the lower part of the village, cutting back the excess growth on his vines. He doesn’t know it, but I borrowed his name for a character in one of my stories. However, Monsieur Joseph is quite a character himself.

winegrower
Joseph cutting back the vines

In his eighties now, Joseph came from Spain with his wife to start a new life. His daughter moved to England and now teaches in a Manchester school. We are delighted to know the whole family. Every summer we meet for drinks and food and for the local fiestas. Joseph likes to enjoy himself and still dances  a mean foxtrot.

The weather remains very changeable. Here’s why.

snow in May
somebody left the fridge door open!

There is STILL snow on the peaks of the Pyrenees. The shifts in temeperature are unusual this year. We’ve had cold night blasts at 5 degrees rising to 26 degrees in the afternoon. Now we learn there’s heavy rain forecast. These are the spring storms we expect in April, not now it’s nearly June.

vine spraying machines
preparing for the next vine spraying session

When the wind drops, the growers are out with their spraying equipment again. This morning there was gridlock at the water pump where a queue waited to top up the tanks.

vine spraying
sprayingI

It was cold enough for top coats at 8am.

We’re all wondering when the real summer is going to arrive.

But, the countryside views are stunning. I’ve never seen it look so green. There’s actually grass growing in the verges. Green grass.

wine domain
one of the local wine domains

There are twenty growers in our village who send their crops to the wine cooperative – the Vigneron near the centre. They grow a variety of grapes and our Fleurs de Montblanc wines are loved by all who taste them. As well as the coopertive growers, there are four separate domains who produce and bottle their own labels. In the photograph above, Domain Prunelle benefits from its sheltered slopes.

new vines
new vines among the old

And so, what about our Mademoiselle Merlot? How is she doing? See for yourself:

Merlot vine
Mademoiselle Merlot

She’s in a spot that’s fairly sheltered from the worst of the winds here. So, I’d say she’s looking pretty damned good. Look at the close up where the baby grapes are forming.

new grapes
Merlot baby grapes

Walking through this beautiful wine-growing country is a real pleasure. And the best pleasure is yet to come: chilled Cinsault in a dewy glass with some savoury nibblies. Or, gently warmed by next winter’s log fire, our Merlot – a Languedoc ruby – precious as blood.

red wine
Cheers!

The Dog’s Doodahs. New Mac on order.

iMac
My new baby

My new computer will soon be on its way.

Isn’t he going to be the dog’s doodahs?

Why have I chosen a desktop?

I like to have a fixed workplace. When I sit in my workroom, I know I’m at work. I’m not going to get distracted by that pile of ironing or the view of the garden that needs weeding, or get up to put the kettle on. I don’t need to be able to pick up my machine and take it somewhere else.

The people at the other end of the Apple helpline in Ireland were really helpful. They wanted to make sure I was making the right choice for me and the way I prefer to work. They also talked me through other requirements and answered my questions about guarantees. Because my home address is in France, my purchase had to go through Apple France. That’s the way it works.

Ah but, says I, I want a qwerty key board please, not a French one with all those extra letter ‘e’s and everything else in a different place. No problem says the delightful Irish Ray, we can do that for you. So, I tell him how I first fell in love with the iMac on a pre-Christmas shopping trip with my sister and niece in Bristol. They were busy looking at clothes and cosmetics but the sexiest thing I saw that day was the iMac in the Apple store. He was standing there looking so beautiful I just had to go in the store and play with him.

At the moment I’m using my old Eee PC – a cute very girly white pearl shell thingummy bob with a tiny screen and miniscule keyboard. But, it’s doing the job okay so far.

My old machine died a protracted death. It was sad to witness. Much choking and switching itself off and me getting very annoyed and frustrated.

But I’m sad at his demise. It’s like saying goodbye to an old friend. Worse, before he goes, I’m going to rip his guts out.

Apologies to my followers. My posts are likely to be fewer and further between until I get my new setup organized.

write from the heart